


Another Chance

by midnightfox97



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightfox97/pseuds/midnightfox97
Summary: A story that follows somewhat close to the actual canon, but instead of dying in season 3, Bertholdt is saved by Reiner and Zeke and goes back to Marley with them. This story mostly focuses on a steadily forming relationship between Bertl and Reiner.
Relationships: Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 7
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

No matter what, the sun kept shining.

Bertholdt had always been in awe at the piece of nature that never seemed to change for anything. He found it amazing that, no matter where anyone was, they were looking at the same thing. The sun was the same sun that the people looked at above him back on his hometown, and perhaps, no matter how far away, they were looking at it at the same times that he would admire it on the island.

He was lying in the grass, and for some reason his body felt entirely numb. He couldn’t move. Did it matter? The sun shined above him and he stared at it, soft gaze never leaving the orb of lit gas in the sky. It warmed him gently and made him feel hazy.

He flinched when darkness overwhelmed him before he realized something was blocking his light, and a black figure loomed above him. It took him a hesitant moment to realize it was Reiner standing above him, his silhouette darkened with shadow as the sun loomed behind him. Something was off about Reiner, and as the blonde dropped to his knees right beside Bertholdt, he realized how incredibly young he appeared.

Bertholdt was just now starting to realize how young he was as well. They were back to the age when they first infiltrated the island as child warriors, traveling what felt like endless fields before Marcel died. Disorientated, his sense of conscious and reality drifted to a slightly different headspace, but he didn’t question his own confusion.

Beside him, Reiner was urgently shaking him. Bertholdt turned his head slightly and saw that the young boy was crying, and he looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. His small face was scrunched up in pained fear, his mouth moving as words jumbled out in a mess. Bertholdt could tell Reiner was screaming, but the words were left unheard. They were muffled beyond comprehension, barely even audible at all as Bertholdt had to strain with what little energy his body had just to pick up a slight hint of Reiner’s voice.

“Why are you crying?” Bertholdt’s soft voice whispered, his voice high with prepubescent youth. His words almost slurred together with an unusual exhaustion that overpowered him.

Reiner hardly seemed fazed, almost as if he hadn’t heard him. The little boy continued crying over Bertholdt’s body and shaking him. 

“I told you not to cry, didn’t I?” Bertholdt went on gently, his hushed voice full of fondness. He let out a soft, dazed laugh as he mused to himself. “You’ve always been such a crier, Reiner...”

Still, no response from Reiner that showed he acknowledged what he’d said. The little blonde only seemed to be getting more urgent as the time passed.

How long had they been here? As the day passed, minutes felt like hours at a time.

“You don’t have to cry,” Bertholdt mumbled with a sad smile, his head slightly shifting so that he was looking back up at the sky. “I told you everything will be okay. You’ve always got me, right? We’ll complete our mission and we can go home and live out the rest of our span.”

His words were slurred together drowsily and dazedly. He felt the need to reach out and touch Reiner, but the pent up feeling of effort to physically move quickly died away in his body’s nerves. He felt numb and paralyzed, but he didn’t even feel bothered.

Everything was fine, wasn’t it? Taking in the peaceful scenery above him with his best friend by his side. They were young- dumb kids with no worries in the world. Their mission would be quick and easy, and Bertholdt blessed whatever high power that watched over them.

So, why was Reiner crying? Everything was fine.

Bertholdt barely responded when Reiner grabbed the taller boy’s face and forced him to look at the blonde, his hands cupping Bertholdt’s cheeks and prodding with his fingers. Reiner shook him slightly and Bertholdt stared up at him, his vision of the blonde blurring slightly until he was just looking at a smudge of faintly recognizable colors.

He felt himself slipping. Where, he didn’t know.

Reiner dug a hand up underneath Bertholdt’s back and lifted the boy to sit up slightly. The taller boy held the position for a bit, his body stiff, before it steadily grew limp with exhaustion as the world continued to blur and darken around him. In his last moments awake, Bertholdt swore he could hear Reiner screaming his name, clearer than before, but he didn’t have the time to properly register it before suddenly, everything was black.

...

“We can’t stay here much longer.”

“Fuck! We’re _not_ leaving him.”

Frustrated voices barely registered as Bertholdt began to come to again, brought back into the world. He didn’t bother opening his eyes, the sun directly above him and heating his skin. He knew the second he opened them, he’d feel blinded by its brightness.

“Did I say we were going to?” the first voice snapped in response to the second. “If you’d done your job on time, we wouldn’t be here in the first place. I wouldn’t have had to come here.”

 _What are they talking about?_ a voice mused weakly in the back of Bertholdt’s head as he tried to focus on their urgent conversation. It felt like he was using up all his energy just to hear them, and he felt distracted by a dull ache that resonated in his body.

Silence followed the first voice’s response from the second’s end of the conversation. Bertholdt hardly noticed when footsteps sounded beside his body as someone approached him and then crouched right beside him.

“Grab him and come on. We need to hurry. Crying over his body isn’t going to wake him up. He’ll be fine, he’s not dead. Now hurry up,” the first voice spoke firmly, seeming on edge, and Bertholdt could hear hurried footsteps leaving his side. The source of the second voice, still crouched by him, took a deep breath and grumbled lowly in response before quieting briefly.

“We’re going home, Bertholdt,” the voice then whispered above him, sounding distant. It held a vague longing for something in its tone.

Bertholdt felt himself drifting again, not even being able to open his mouth to respond to the voice before he passed out again.

...

Bertholdt slowly stirred with consciousness at the dull feeling of something wet grazing his body. His face scrunched with discomfort and he grunted softly. His body felt like it was rocking back and forth in a gentle swaying motion, and the sounds of creaking filled his ears. All of it was such an unpleasant mixture of sensory, and it made him feel nauseated.

Gathering up all his strength, he slowly opened his eyes. He stared above him, his sight adjusting to take in his surroundings. The feeling of wetness that traveled his body stopped abruptly and a soft gasp sounded beside him.

“Bertholdt?” the voice whispered, and immediately, he recognized who it was.

“Reiner?”

“Oh, by the Walls, you’re finally coming to,” Reiner’s voice was filled with relief, so strong Bertholdt swore he could feel the powerful emotion radiating off of him contagiously.

“Where... Where am I? What’s- What’s happened? I can’t...move...”

A sense of panic surged through him and he struggled, his body moving weakly. He tried to lift his arms to reach out and lift himself, but he couldn’t.

“Hey, hey-“ Reiner interjected quickly. “Calm down, you’re fine.” His large hands were placed on Bertholdt’s chest and they steadied him. The black-haired boy willed himself to breathe easy. He felt comfort in Reiner’s presence, but the warm, familiar feeling vanished as Bertholdt again thought back to his unfamiliar surroundings.

He was in what looked like a wooden room, but the room kept gently rocking and swaying. Where were they?

“Bertholdt. Are you with me?” Reiner’s voice cut into his thoughts.

Bertholdt struggled to respond but eventually he nodded, swallowing.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

His head hurt as he thought back. He remembered the way Armin tried to talk to him before he transformed. Not being able to control it, he couldn’t help but wonder how the boy was. They were supposed to be enemies, but the vague thought of seeing the timid blonde as a friend was stuck to the back of his mind. Had he made it out of the blast? If he didn’t, he would have been burned alive.

“Hey, Bertholdt,” Reiner spoke again softly. “You’re thinking too much.”

Bertholdt hadn’t realized the way he had spaced out. His eyes were slightly glassy but he blinked a few times, then grunted with exhaustion.

“Uh- I remember Armin... And I transformed, but they- they cut me out, and then...”

Bertholdt, for the first time since fully waking up, peered down at his body. He was shirtless, but wearing pants, though his pants legs hung emptily off the cot he was laying on. A damp towel was sat beside him and he assumed that was the source of the wet feeling he’d felt earlier. 

He took a moment to take in his own appearance and his eyes widened when he realized his arms were gone, as were his legs. That was when he remembered the way the Scouts had severed his limbs to make it where he couldn’t escape.

Panic settled lowly in a pit in his stomach and nauseation overwhelmed him. He felt the sudden urge to throw up. The urgent, sick look on Bertholdt’s face was immediately understood by Reiner and he stepped back, hurrying to bring the closest bucket and holding it underneath Bertholdt with one arm wrapped around his shoulder to steady him.

In a wave of pain and nausea, Bertholdt emptied the contents of his stomach, which held nothing but acid. It burned his throat horribly coming up and was overall painful, uncomfortable, and overwhelming. He gagged, his chest heaving with effort before he threw up again. 

When he was done, Reiner took the damp towel and gently pressed it against his mouth, tapping lightly.

“I didn’t want you to see it,” Reiner mumbled as he cleaned Bertholdt’s lips. “Not yet, at least. Your body hasn’t...regenerated yet. But I know it will, eventually.”

Bertholdt could hear the uncertainty that tainted his best friend’s voice, and something about it hurt. Feeling stronger than before, he glanced down at his body again.

The part of his arms that had been severed had, at the very least, regenerated new skin that covered where the open wound had been, turning it into a stump. He couldn’t see his legs, but he assumed they were the same way. It explained why there was a lack of blood.

“They’ll regenerate, just give your body time,” Reiner spoke again, sounding more confident than before. “You need rest.”

It was true that he was tired, which was probably why his limbs hadn’t regenerated yet. Despite his exhaustion, he didn’t feel the need to sleep. Instead, he grunted lowly in response, an acknowledgement of Reiner’s words. Steam lightly emitted from the end of his right arm as skin and muscle formed slowly, but it ceased almost as soon as it’d started. Bertholdt felt dizzy.

“Hey, don’t overwork yourself,” Reiner kept his arm around Bertholdt’s shoulder, but retracted it only to set the bucket down on the ground and then he was back in position. More firmly, he repeated, “You need to rest, Bertholdt.”

Despite his firmness, concern laced his voice. Bertholdt ignored him as a question slipped out of his mouth, “Where... Where are we?”

Reiner breathed deeply before exhaling, looking away. “We’re on a boat. We’re going home.”

Bertholdt’s eyes widened, a deep feeling pulsing behind his green pupils as tears stung the corners. “Home? We- I didn’t succeed at our mission. I failed us. Reiner... I’m going to be replaced the second we get there.”

“ _No_ ,” Reiner interrupted him, both hands clasped on Bertholdt’s shoulders. “They’re not going to do anything to you. _We_ failed, Bertholdt. Zeke, too. The mission was a failed one from the start, and we underestimated the island’s strength.”

Bertholdt stared at him, expression unsure. He sniffled as tears escaped his eyes and traveled down his cheeks, wetting his face.

Reiner reached a hand up and cupped his cheek, wiping away at his tear-stained face. “Even if they try to decommission you, I’ll... I’ll die saving you if I have to. I won’t let them touch you.”

Bertholdt sniffled again. “If you do, we won’t be able to stay there. We’d have to escape.”

“We’ll find somewhere, alright? And we can spend the rest of our last years together.”

Bertholdt felt comfort in his words, but unease settled in the pit of his stomach.

Reiner straightened up, taking the towel that laid on the cot and dipping it in a nearby bucket of water, ringing it out before repeating the process once more. With the towel damp, he returned to what he’d been doing earlier; washing Bertholdt.

“They can’t be too mad at us,” Reiner mused aloud as he gently dragged the hand towel along Bertholdt’s body. “We got the Jaw Titan back, did we not?”

“We were never supposed to have lost it,” Bertholdt frowned. Subconsciously, his right arm regenerated a litttle more before stopping again. “We’ve made no progress, Reiner. We’re almost exactly where we left off, except we lost the Female Titan, too. We don’t even know where they’re keeping Annie.”

“But we found the Founding Titan-“ Reiner defended.

“We _found_ it. We don’t have him with us,” Bertholdt told him, his voice pained. “Face it, Reiner, they’re going to replace us if we go home! We’re incompetent, and-“

“Bertholdt,” Reiner’s voice cut him off. It was sharp and took the other boy by surprise, leaving no room for further argument. Reiner’s eyes met his apologetically and the blonde sighed briefly before continuing with a softer voice, “Please, I don’t want to talk about this right now. We have about a week until we’ll reach land, I just want to focus on you right now.”

Bertholdt swallowed. “Right, sorry.” Despite obeying, anxiety continued to prick at him.

Back to his earlier task, Reiner took the towel and re-wet it before patting it along Bertholdt’s face. “You look silly, you know,” he said affectionately, the subject entirely changed now.

Bertholdt stared at him. “Huh?”

“Your face. It hasn’t regenerated yet either.”

Bertholdt felt the urge to reach up and touch his face, forgetting for a brief moment about his lack of arms. The signal in his brain made his body subconsciously regenerate more of his limbs. Although he couldn’t feel it, he knew what Reiner meant: the temporary scarring on his cheeks still remained from where his skin had been torn from the meat and tissue of his titan upon being torn from the body. 

“I’m sorry,” Bertholdt murmured, not sure what he was apologizing for.

“Hey, don’t be. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. We all get the markings, yours are just a little different.”

Bertholdt had a small smile on his face. “Yours, too. You get them around your mouth and jaw. You should see how you look.”

“Yeah? Maybe they should have called me the Jaw Titan instead,” Reiner joked, moving upwards to Bertholdt’s forehead. “Want me to wash your hair, Bertl? We don’t have any soap, but it might feel nice. It’ll help you relax.”

“No, thanks.”

“Mmh, suite yourself, then,” Reiner hummed, taking the hand towel and squeezing it above Bertholdt’s head playfully, dripping water onto him. 

“Hey!” Bertholdt shook his head with protest, looking up at Reiner with a soft glare.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Reiner chuckled, reaching a hand and ruffling the now slightly damp black hair. Locks of it clumped together with wetness and stuck up in small spikes. “You should wear your hair like this. It looks nice.”

Bertholdt blushed slightly, “I’m sure I’d look dumb.”

“Nonsense, you look fine either way.”

Bertholdt’s blush deepened, and he looked away briefly before searching again for Reiner’s gaze, a question on his mind. “Reiner?”

“Mmhm?”

“Do you ever... Do you ever regret inheriting your titan?”

Reiner stilled, his hand coming down loosely to rest on the cot by Bertholdt, the towel still held in his palm. The blonde was quiet, and Bertholdt assumed he was thinking. He hoped he hadn’t struck a nerve.

“I don’t know,” Reiner finally spoke. “I... Truthfully, yes, but- what had to be done...it had to be done, you know? Feelings aside, I don’t know if we would have had much of an option, I- We were groomed, Bertholdt.”

Bertholdt nodded solemnly, his gaze softening sadly. 

Reiner looked up at him from where he stood in front of him. “What about you?”

“I feel the same way. It- It had to be done, I guess, but...I wish it hadn’t been us. I don’t enjoy killing to survive.” The last sentence held weight and he shivered just saying it. Constantly, his mind tried to block out that he was the one who started the initial attack, transforming into the Colossal Titan in order to break the gate which led to the collapse of the inner society and the deaths that followed. It was a huge weight to carry, and Bertholdt tried not to let it haunt his mind, but he knew he’d never be able to escape the responsibility.

“Growing up, we were taught the island was the source of all evil,” Reiner spoke, voice hushed. “We were trained to do our mission here, even if that meant killing. And it did. But being around all these people, people our age, just like us with goals and dreams, it made me realize... We’re not much different, are we?”

Bertholdt swallowed. “We’re not.”

“They were minding their own business. Hell- nobody even knew life existed outside of the island, or even outside the walls, and we attacked them. We’re responsible for the death of thousands. How are they devils, and we’re not?”

“Reiner...”

Reiner laughed weakly. “I made friends here, and I felt like I was actually somewhere where I belonged. I’ve never felt that way back at home. And we did this to them.” 

Bertholdt didn’t get the chance to respond before Reiner continued, “In the beginning while we were training, I remember you’d constantly catch me slipping and remind me we weren’t here for friends, but for a mission. Eventually, you stopped. You felt the same way, didn’t you?”

“What?”

“About the island- our friends. They weren’t enemies anymore. In fact, they never were.”

The way Reiner said ‘friends’ seemed to hold weight and it felt weird hearing. Truth be told, he had come to see his fellow comrades as friends as well. Originally, when Bertholdt first enrolled as a cadet trainee, he tried to keep to himself. Only talk when spoken to, never go out of his way to leave Reiner’s side. However, over time he found himself having fun with the people around him, despite the circumstances. They were like a bright light in a hopeless pit of black.

Bertholdt still remembered the first time the other Scouts found out about his titan, when he’d been on the run in the safety of Reiner’s titan’s armor. He remembered every look of pain, fear, confusion, denial, and grief. That moment had made him want to abandon his entire mission, beg for their mercy, and live out his remaining life span as a Scout until the alleged curse stripped his life away.

If he’d done that, would Reiner have stayed with him? Would he have gone back home, reported the news, and had special forces from Marley sent on their way to retrieve Bertholdt to take his titan? He’d possibly have to be on the run for the rest of his remaining years.

 _No, Reiner wouldn’t do that,_ Bertholdt spoke to himself in his mind, shaking his head. _Reiner would want to be with me._

He wasn’t sure why he was thinking so hard on it, considering he’d never be able to return to the island. If anyone got even a vague rumor that Bertholdt was taking shelter on the island, even outside the walls, they’d hunt him down and kill him for sure.

Paradis had figured out the secret behind titan shifting as well, and obtained the tools to do it. It was possible they would have even stolen his titan from him.

“Bertl?”

Suddenly, Bertholdt was back in the world, dazed green eyes meeting golden-brown ones. 

“I lost you for a moment there,” Reiner sighed with relief. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Bertholdt mumbled sheepishly. “I was just thinking.”

“Yeah? Do you need to talk about it?”

“I was just...thinking about what life could be like, if we’d never left the island. If we’d given ourselves up to our friends.”

Reiner blinked at him, obvious surprise evident in the way he looked. Bertholdt grew self-conscious under his stare and shied away, chewing his bottom lip anxiously as he avoided Reiner’s stare. “Sorry, that was a little dumb...”

“No, it’s okay,” Reiner quickly assured him, voice soft. “It’s not dumb, I was just surprised. That’s all.”

The taller boy blinked. “Surprised? Why?”

“I never considered the possibility,” Reiner explained. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully, gaze searching the room. “There’s no telling what they’d do to us, though.”

Bertholdt tried to imagine what it’d be like: him and Reiner bound and chained in a cell, going to trials to ultimately decide their fate. He was sure they’d be gagged as well. Given their strength and past actions, he felt like the Scouts would be extra paranoid the two boys would find a way to shift by drawing blood and shifting just using their teeth and the inside of their mouth.

If that all happened, how would the Scouts defend them? Would they beg the two of them have another chance? Would they plead that the government rid the island of the two for good? Would they keep them a secret and steal their titans?

“Bertholdt?”

The taller boy blinked, meeting Reiner’s concerned gaze.

“You keep blanking out on me,” the blonde murmured. “You’re worrying me. Are you feeling okay?”

Bertholdt gave him a weak, sheepish smile. “I’m fine, Reiner. Promise.”

“Let’s not worry too much about everything right now, yeah? We got a week to ourselves before we have to figure out what to do. We need to get your limbs regenerated. Your legs, at the very least.”

“I don’t think it’ll happen in a day.”

“Oh, of course not,” Reiner nodded. He grasped one of Bertholdt’s thighs, hands placed on the newly skin-covered cut where the leg had been severed a few inches above the knee. The blonde lifted his thigh slightly and moved it up and down, exercising it. “You feel stiff. This should help you loosen up.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Bertholdt mumbled shyly, although he was grateful for his help. His body ached, but he’d gone way past his limit as a titan and now he was too exhausted and numb to recover at the moment.

“I hate to tell you, but you don’t very much look like you can do it yourself right now,” Reiner joked, dragging a soft laugh out of Bertholdt. “I don’t want your body to get all stiff, so I’ll do this with you any time that I have to until your body has finished regenerating.”

Bertholdt blushed. “Thanks, Reiner.” Despite the expression of gratitude, he still felt slight guilt.

His feeling didn’t go unnoticed by Reiner. The blonde looked up at him with a soft expression. “If it’d been me instead, would you have done the same? And you know I don’t like to have help very much, I’d be argumentative if you even touched me.”

“O-Of course!” Bertholdt said quickly. “I’d... I’d force you to accept my help. I wouldn’t leave you like that.”

“See? Then there’s nothing to worry about,” Reiner laughed. “I don’t mind doing this, Bertl.” With that, he moved on to Bertholdt’s other leg, repeating the same thing: lifting it up and lowering it a few times, loosening the tense joint.

“I want you to rotate your shoulders,” Reiner requested as he worked on his other leg. “Can you do that for me?”

“Y-Yeah,” Bertholdt mumbled, rotating what was left of his one of his arms. The socket stiffened slightly as he moved it, but the more he worked it, it steadily relaxed. When he felt free movement in that socket, he did the same to the other one until the tension was gone.

“That should do it for now,” Reiner spoke, voice satisfied. “Feel better?”

“Mmh. Yeah, it feels nice.”

“I wish I could give you a hot bath. Maybe we could get that luxury back at home.”

The mention of home made Bertholdt tense slightly, and Reiner immediately noticed his mistake. “Right, sorry,” the blonde corrected himself quickly. “Are you hungry?”

“No... Not really.”

“At least let me get you some water, then.” Before Bertholdt could object, the blonde stepped back and hurried out of the room, footsteps retreating to the top of the ship.

Bertholdt sighed. He wished he didn’t feel so useless right now. In fact, he wished he wasn’t in this situation at all. If he had never inherited his titan, or maybe even been born on the island instead of his actual home...would he be happier? Happier as a soldier, surrounded by his friends?

Or is he happier, giving away everything for a short lifespan, only to kill innocents if it means he’s guaranteed a short-lived happiness?

Every child on Marley growing up was taught to not see the islanders as ‘innocent’. They were taught the people of Paradis were devils and the source of all evil, but Bertholdt knew that wasn’t true.

First coming to the island as a young child, after infiltrating the walls, him, Reiner, and Annie were homeless with nowhere to go. Being young, helpless children, it wasn’t long before they’d been warded off to a shelter and taken care of. There, that was when he learned the things he was taught as a child were completely false. These people weren’t devils- they were innocent men, women, and children just like him.

For years after that, apart of his brain erased those thoughts and he slipped back into the mindset of a warrior, but it had become evidentially harder to keep when he enrolled as a cadet and made friends. It had started to get to the point where he resented himself and his mission, and the weight of what he’d done and what he’d have to do later. Eventually, it’d gotten further until there was no turning back, and he’d hated it, but he tried to go along while killing as little as possible.

However, every time someone fell victim to the jaws of a titan, he couldn’t help but painfully think that it was all connected to the fault of his own actions, considering he’d directly caused the first collapse, and the rest fell like dominos.

Bertholdt wondered- Did Reiner feel the same guilt? Hell, it was obvious the blonde was deeply traumatized, so badly his brain created a coping mechanism for itself. However, it seemed, at least at the moment, that additional part of Reiner laid dormant.

Bertholdt was spaced out when Reiner returned. “Sorry it took so long,” the blonde chuckled apologetically. “Zeke was really pissing me off. The big guy is a little uptight sometimes, you know? I snagged a little piece of bread out of spite.”

“Huh? Oh, uh-“ Bertholdt staggered, coming back to reality. 

Reiner met him with concerned eyes. “Hey, are you okay?” He approached him slowly, setting down the piece of bread and a canister he’d been holding. “Why are you crying?”

Bertholdt hadn’t even realized until now that tears had slipped from his eyes. He wasn’t exactly sure what’d upset him. Perhaps it was how he’d been thinking about just what a pathetic excuse for a life he felt like he had, when he could have had something better.

“It’s- It’s nothing,” Bertholdt said instead of dumping his true feelings. He imagined Reiner wouldn’t want to talk about that, at least not right now.

Reiner sighed gently, bringing a hand up to wipe Bertholdt’s tears. “Here,” the blonde murmured, reaching for the canister he’d brought. He unscrewed the lid and gently pressed it to Bertholdt’s lips. “Sorry, it’s a little warm, but it’s the best I could do right now.”

Bertholdt nodded appreciatively, tilting his head back and parting his lips slightly around the opening. When he moved his head, Reiner moved the canister with him until water was coming out. Gratefully, Bertholdt drank, realizing for the first time how dry his mouth was. Despite being warm and tasting somehow stale, the water quenched his thirst satisfyingly.

Bertholdt began to lower his head, signaling he was done for now. A little bit of water dribbled down his chin but Reiner was quick to catch it with his hand and wipe it away. “Thank you, Reiner,” the black-haired boy murmured. He still felt guilty about it, but he was glad Reiner was here to take care of him.

“I know you said you weren’t hungry, but you should try to eat at least a little bit of this.” Reiner reached for the piece of bread. “You threw up earlier, your stomach must be empty. This should be safe to eat.”

Bertholdt simply did not feel like eating, but he realized he didn’t have much of a choice as Reiner ripped off a piece and pressed it to his lips. He knew if he even opened his mouth to protest, the blonde would shove it in if he had to. Gently laughing to himself, he imagined a frustrated Reiner playfully holding Bertholdt’s mouth closed and forcing him to eat what he’d offered him. Instead of giving the blonde a hard time, he decided to just open his mouth.

Reiner fed him the piece of bread, watching him as he chewed slowly. A quizzical smile was on the blonde’s face. “What are you laughing about?”

“Nothing,” Bertholdt laughed softly again. “I was just thinking about how kind you are.”

Reiner snorted. “I’m not that nice. Only to you.”

“I guess that’s all that matters.” 

Bertholdt smiled teasingly at the blush that crossed Reiner’s cheeks. The blonde cleared his throat, “Alright, less talking, more eating. You can’t let your body get weak.”

Bertholdt didn’t say anything else as he opened his mouth to allow Reiner to feed him more of the bread. “Are you going to eat any?” he asked in between chews.

“Oh, uh-“ Reiner shook his head. “No, it’s fine. You need it more.”

Bertholdt gave him a sad look. “Come on, we’re going to be on this ship for a week. We need to conserve what food we have. I don’t mind sharing.”

Reiner gave him an unsure look before sighing. “Alright, if you insist,” Reiner laughed softly. “I can’t resist those looks you give me. You’re too nice to me, you know?”

Bertholdt watched him with a satisfied smile as the blonde took bites out of the bread, though he couldn’t help but notice how small they were. He rolled his eyes fondly. “You’ve been my best friend for years, we practically grew up together. I’d do anything for you.” When he spoke his last sentence, a small blush dusted Bertholdt’s cheeks.

“Alright, you’re getting too sappy,” Reiner joked, taking his fingers and playfully thumping Bertholdt’s forehead. “Stop it.”

“You don’t care,” Bertholdt laughed softly, moving his head. “You act like you’re not the one dropping everything to take care of me right now.”

“Oh, yeah? You want me to leave you like this without any arms or legs?” Reiner chuckled heartily as he took a seat next to Bertholdt on the cot. “I could be at the top of the ship right now, making Zeke my new best friend.”

Bertholdt’s eyes widened with mock hurt. “Don’t say that, Reiner,” he couldn’t suppress the laughter that slipped from his mouth as he spoke. “You’d never replace me.”

“You’re right.” Reiner wrapped an arm around Bertholdt’s shoulder, pulling him into a strong hug that took the taller boy by surprise and he nearly lost his balance. “Don’t know if I’d be able to make him a true friend, anyways. You can really tell that he’s a Jaeger. Something about the guy intimidates me- even Eren sometimes seemed easier to approach than him.”

“It might’ve been because Eren was our age,” Bertholdt mused, voice suddenly grimmer. “Eren was... He was a friend, you know? The way he fought us and Annie, I could tell he...he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to accept that we’re his enemy.”

Reiner stiffened beside Bertholdt, and the taller boy could feel it, but he continued on.

“If we took Eren with us- Would they have kept him? Or would they have given up his titan to a warrior there?”

“I- I don’t know. Eren’s strong, but...” Reiner frowned. “I don’t know if Marley would have been able to trust him. They probably would have taken his titan.”

Bertholdt’s expression turned grim and he nodded. Feeling an overwhelming exhaustion, he yawned.

“Let’s not worry about that, though. Things will be fine,” Reiner assured him. “Are you tired?”

“Mmh, yeah,” Bertholdt admitted.

“You should rest.”

“Guess so. Maybe my body will regenerate some while I sleep. Move me?”

Just as Bertholdt had requested, Reiner gently placed a hand on the small of his back and one on his chest as he steadily moved him backwards until he was lying down on the cot.

When Reiner shifted to move, Bertholdt quickly spoke, “A-Ah, will you stay with me? Just in case-“

Reiner snorted, seeing through the taller boy’s excuse. He just wanted the blonde close by, and admittedly, Reiner didn’t have a problem with that.

“Of course.” The blonde settled down beside beside him, facing the black-haired boy, his head propped on the palm of his hand as he leaned on his elbow. “I’ll keep watch over you.”

Being two fully grown boys either 6’0 or above, it was a bit hard to fit both of them on the single sized cot, but they made it work. Feeling the warmth of Reiner’s closeness, Bertholdt closed his eyes and allowed himself to slip away. Next to Reiner, he fell asleep with a soft smile across his scarred, titan-marked face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a flashback to when the four warriors originally made contact with the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story follows the basics of the canon, obviously, but I like to rewrite my own interactions with how I see them. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Comments and feedback are appreciated!

Bertholdt ran as far as his relatively long legs would take him, his lungs feeling like they were going to burst out of his chest. He could hardly breathe as he pushed his body past its limits, running away for what felt like hours when it’d probably only been minutes.

He was back when he was a child, making contact with the island and making the long journey to the walls with his fellow warriors. The four of them had gone along with no problems, until one of them had accidentally stepped over where a dormant titan seemed to have been resting and woken it up. Before any of them had any time to think, Marcel had shoved Reiner back and gotten killed in the process.

The remaining three of them had started running, splitting up individually, terrified out of their minds.

Bertholdt looked around frantically, trying to spot even a hint of his friends. His breaths came out rapidly, panicked, when he couldn’t see either of them. Had more titans showed up and gotten them, too?

A scream split the air and Bertholdt’s eyes darted towards the source of the noise, and there he saw Reiner, collapsed on the ground and hunched over. Quickly, the taller boy ran over towards him.

“Reiner!” Bertholdt cried, skidding to a stop beside the blonde’s curled body. Tears were streaming down the black-haired boy’s face and he nearly toppled over himself, feeling out of breath. Trying to be strong for his friends, he straightened himself up and knelt down by Reiner’s side.

Bertholdt shoved Reiner on his back, frantically checking him for injuries, since he’d been so close to the attack when it happened. When Reiner was flipped over, his golden-brown, water filled eyes met Bertholdt’s. The blonde’s face was scrunched horribly with fear, biting his lip so hard it drew blood as he tried to hold back his cries. Regardless, choked sobs escaped his mouth.

“It’s my fault,” Reiner whimpered. “It’s my fault, it’s my fault.”

“Reiner, please,” Bertholdt sniffled, shaking the blonde’s body. He stood up, trying to pull him up as well, but Reiner forced his body to fall limp and he refused to move. “Please, Reiner! We have to find Annie!”

“It should have been me, Bertholdt,” Reiner cried, hand coming up and roughly rubbing his eyes. “Why? Why did Marcel have to...?”

“Reiner!” Bertholdt screamed, urgency slipping from his voice. He regretted the way he’d raised his voice, but he didn’t have time to apologize. Thankfully, it grabbed the pitiful boy’s attention and Reiner met his gaze with wide, terrified eyes. “Come on! We need to find Annie!”

Reiner finally allowed Bertholdt to pull him to his feet and the taller boy kept a strong, reassuring grip on Reiner’s hand. They walked, hand in hand, slower than before, though their pace was still quick.

“We- Should we-“ Reiner hiccuped, breaths frantic as he tried to speak between panicked sobs. “The- The Jaw Titan... that titan would have-“

“Transformed,” Bertholdt finished for him, voice terrified and grim. “We- We don’t have time. We need to find Annie.”

“Marcel...” Reiner whimpered weakly, quieting after that. The only thing that filled the air after that was the sniffles, hiccups, and whimpers that escaped both of them.

“Annie!” Bertholdt shouted, trying to call for the young girl. She shouldn’t have gone far, but Annie was fast. There was no telling where she’d gone.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to search far, because Bertholdt spotted just out of the corner of his eye movement from the lower branch of a tree. Focusing his gaze on it, he spotted the blonde girl perched on a branch, partially hidden by the leaves. Bertholdt ran up to the tree, pulling the crying Reiner along with him. He didn’t bother questioning how she’d gotten up there.

“Jump, I’ll catch you,” Bertholdt spoke softly, meeting Annie’s wide, terrified eyes. He let go of Reiner’s hand briefly and held his arms out to catch the short girl. Annie grunted and jumped down from the branch, landing beside him, a silent signal that she didn’t need his offer.

Bertholdt felt embarrassed for a moment, but he quickly straightened up. “Annie, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Annie mumbled, brushing her clothes down. Bertholdt could tell, just like him and Reiner, she was scared out of her mind but she didn’t bother expressing it. He knew her well, though. 

Bertholdt’s gaze followed Annie’s and he noticed she was staring at Reiner, who kept his gaze to the ground as tears streamed down his face. A sad looked washed over Bertholdt. He couldn’t imagine how the blonde must feel right now.

He watched as Annie’s gaze softened briefly before hardening again. “Come on. We don’t have time to waste,” she spoke, her voice soft, almost defeated, but firm.

“Marcel,” Reiner spoke weakly. “How can we- how can we go without him...?”

“We’re going to have to. We have a mission, with or without Marcel,” Annie responded.

“If it’d been one of us, he would have- He would have turned around. Found a way to go home. He wouldn’t have done this without us, so why are we...?”

“ _Reiner_ ,” Annie interrupted. “If it’d been you instead, Marcel would have continued the mission!” Her expression and voice was cold, but Bertholdt could tell it hurt to say that, and deep inside he could see care in her, but understandably she just wanted to go on. There was nothing they could do now.

Bertholdt fell backwards, landing on his behind, when Reiner suddenly lunged at Annie. He was quick, but she was quicker, dodging out of the way and tripping him. When the blonde boy fell, the young girl swung her leg back and nailed him in the center of his stomach, kicking the breath out of him and making him choke on the air.

“A-Annie!” Bertholdt protested weakly, a clasped hands covering his mouth as he held back his sobs, watching his friend knock sense into his other one. Tears streaked his cheeks and he crawled over a few steps in an attempt to break them up, shrinking back when Reiner used his strength to gain the upper hand and topple Annie over, pressing a knee to her chest and holding her down.

The position didn’t last for long when Annie kicked at him and shoved him off, swinging herself over and punching him in the face. Bertholdt didn’t want to get caught in the middle of it, but he had no choice, given they both were going to beat each other to a bloody pulp if he didn’t intervene. 

The two blondes were both fighters; Bertholdt was sure, at this point, that they didn’t even remember what they’d been fighting about, but neither of them wanted to back down now.

“Guys! S-Stop!” Bertholdt gathered all his might and crawled forward, throwing himself in the middle of their tussle. In the process, he’d gotten kicked in the stomach and chest a few times, punched in the face, smacked, and scratched in more places on his body than he could count on his fingers and toes. Annie and Reiner were already bloodied, but the fight abruptly stopped when Bertholdt’s own blood had been drawn in the mix as well.

Bertholdt fell back with a pained wince, blood dripping from his nose, his face already bruising. Reiner and Annie were staring at him with wide, pained eyes.

“B-Bertl,” Reiner mumbled, reaching out a hand that appeared fractured—broken from his own hard blows, or something Annie had done, none of them knew—to comfort the tallest of the three. It was obvious the two blondes hadn’t intended to hurt the other one, but when he threw himself in the fight, none of them could tell who was hitting what.

Intentional or not, regardless, Bertholdt roughly shoved Reiner’s hand off his shoulder, crying out sharply at the pain that shot through his beaten body at the sudden movement. “S...Stop!” he screamed out, his face scrunched up and his eyes shut tight. He didn’t bother lowering his voice. “Stop it, please! Both of you!”

Bertholdt’s shoulders shook with sobs, bringing his knees up to his body and hugging them tightly to his chest, crying into his legs as he bowed his head and curled up tightly. Reiner and Annie took that moment to carefully approach him and crouched at his side.

“H-Hey, Bertholdt,” Reiner fretted softly, voice barely above a whine. “We- We didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, we’re sorry, don’t cry-“

Bertholdt lifted his head, watery green eyes meeting Reiner’s own tearful gaze. For the first time, he realized one of the blonde boy’s eyes was nearly shut from developing blackened, puffy skin. 

Reiner touched his shoulder with his fractured hand, wincing only briefly. On Bertholdt’s other side, Annie crouched close to him, digging through a bag she’d slung off her shoulder. 

Bertholdt looked over at her. “D-Don’t waste your supplies on me,” he mumbled. “We can just regenerate...”

Silently, she brought out a canister of water and handed it to him. Bertholdt took it, quiet as well, and drank. He felt bad for taking up so much of their time, but he wasn’t sure how they’d react if he tried to take care of them instead.

“Bertl?” Reiner began again. “You know we didn’t mean to hurt you, right? I- you... We’re sorry. You don’t hate me, right?”

“Of course not,” Bertholdt hiccuped, wiping tears from his eyes. “I just wish you wouldn’t fight each other, you’re both my friends...”

“I’m sorry,” Annie mumbled quietly, staring down at her knees from where she sat stilly beside him. Bertholdt reached a hand over and offered it to Annie, and she grasped it with surprising gentleness. Bertholdt reached his other hand to Reiner.

“We won’t fight anymore,” Reiner promised him as he took Bertholdt’s hand in his own. As a sign of peace, the blonde boy offered his free hand to Annie and she took it as well, with brief hesitancy, though the uncertainty was only because it was his fractured one. 

“S-See? Everything’s fine now,” Bertholdt smiled weakly. “We should... heal our injuries. They’re not that bad, right?”

“My hand is broken, I think,” Reiner mumbled. “And I have a black eye.”

“Can you manage?”

“I’ll be fine. It won’t take a lot out of me.”

Bertholdt looked at Annie, but before he could ask anything, she answered his silent question. “I have a black eye, and my chest hurts.”

“I think my nose is broken,” Bertholdt murmured. “But it’s fine.”

Reiner’s eyes widened. Already, steam emitted from his hand as his regenerative powers mended the bones. “D-Did I do that? Bertl, I’m—“

“It’s okay,” the boy cut him off. “I don’t know who did, but I’m fine.” As his abilities started up, small puffs of steam came out of his nostrils as everything went back into place. “See?”

The three sat in silence as they let their bodies slowly work themselves to recovery until they sat, hand in hand, appearing as if nothing had even happened between them. 

Bertholdt looked at Annie and the two shared a brief moment of hesitancy. He had remembered why the fight started in the first place, and both of them seemed to share the same thoughts. Finally, amidst the silence, Bertholdt nodded and turned to Reiner.

“Reiner... You know we have to move on, right? Without...” Bertholdt swallowed, his voice trailing off weakly.

Reiner sat in silence before nodding, his head down. “I know.”

“If we go home now, they’ll...”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to die, Reiner, I- My dad...”

“I _know_ , okay?” Reiner cut him off shortly, voice raised painfully, making the other two flinch. Reiner winced as he realized his mistake and he calmed down, breathing deeply before standing up and began walking. “Sorry. Let’s just start moving now.”

Bertholdt was surprised with how quickly Reiner had fixed his priorities and he met Annie’s gaze that shared his shock. Together, the other two stood to their feet, hurrying to meet Reiner who was turned to look back at them with one hand outstretched.

“We can make it,” Reiner spoke firmly. Bertholdt took his hand, while Annie had ahold of the taller boy’s other one. “Even if it’s just the three of us now.”

The three walked for what felt like days, only stopping to rest when they felt like they were low on energy. They needed as much as they could get to be able to infiltrate the walls.

Finally, they could see the towering walls up ahead. Close by, small titans idly roamed, but not nearly enough for the attack they had planned out.

“This is it,” Reiner was the one who breathed first, assuming leadership position of the trio. “Are we ready?”

“Yeah,” Bertholdt and Annie spoke in turn. 

Despite all of them claiming to be ready, the three stared at the wall with wide, childish eyes filled with fear for what laid ahead of them. Reiner swallowed before he began walking forward, pulling Bertholdt along with him which automatically brought Annie along as well. It was only as they got closer that their hands broke away from each others’ touch and fell to their sides.

“I... I’ll launch the first attack,” Bertholdt swallowed. “Only I can, right? I have to kick that gate down over there?”

Reiner and Annie followed where Bertholdt pointed, noting the closed gate off in the distance. Reiner was the one who responded, “Right.”

“Before you do that, I need to get some titans ready,” Annie spoke quietly next to Bertholdt.

“Yeah, and uh- Reiner, you’ll need to hide somewhere and run in when I kick down the gate. They won’t see you in the debris. Don’t get caught in the blast, please...”

Reiner offered him a smirk- one that seemed calm and reassuring, but very plainly held deep fear and doubt. “You can count on me.”

“Both of you, when you can, you’ll need to run and blend in with the crowd. When it’s safe,” Bertholdt nodded. “I guess we should split up now.”

The three stared at each other for a brief moment before they began on their separate ways. Bertholdt hesitantly looked back at them, as Annie ran off in the original path that they took to transform far enough that it wouldn’t be noticed, and Reiner ran off along the sides of the wall to take cover from the blast of the Colossal Titan’s formation.

“Please, don’t die!” Bertholdt called out, unsure if they could even hear him at this point. “We’ll see each other again, I promise!”

Turning to the wall, Bertholdt could feel his heart thumping in his chest, and he felt close to passing out. Swallowing, he walked forward, willing himself to calm down. One shaky hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocket knife. He flicked the blade out of its socket in one quick motion, holding it near the tip of his finger.

His hands were shaking so bad he could barely even hold it steadily. Holding his breath, he pressed the tip of his blade to the top of his index finger and sliced downwards. He barely got the time to even wince before heat and electricity formed around him, and suddenly, in the blink of an eye, he was viewing the world below him from many, many meters in the air. Just barely, over the wall, he could see a society of people staring up at him, though his vision was not clear enough to make out every expression. He was certain they were nothing but fear.

Not allowing himself the time to think or doubt himself, Bertholdt swallowed, feeling his leg move underneath the meat of his titan where he was lodged inside the nape. Moving his leg made his titan body move, and as the Colossal Titan’s leg lifted in the air, the first attack had officially been launched.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another flashback chapter lol there will be one more after this and then I’ll return back to where the first chapter took place, I’m having a lot of fun with this so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Comments and feedback are appreciated! I see your comments and I love them, and I hope you are enjoying this<3

“Reiner! Annie!” 

Bertholdt raced in through the broken down gate of Shiganshina, making sure it was clear of titans before he burst through. He made sure to regenerate his skin as much as he could as to not make himself appear out of place.

 _They should be in here somewhere,_ Bertholdt’s mind raced as he slipped into a panicked crowd. _Reiner, definitely, but...has Annie made it back inside yet?_

Annie had to run off before them and use her titan’s call to herd together a bunch of pure titans by the wall, and her job had gone successfully, as it seems. Surely she’d be inside now?

“A-Ah!” Bertholdt cried out sharply as he suddenly got shoved by the crowd and he fell to the ground, face first. With a gasp, he curled up on himself and protected his most vulnerable places, shielding his head with his arms and curling his legs underneath his body, to lessen the damage from potential trampling.

“Reiner! Annie!” Bertholdt called again, coming out as a cry, letting a fearful sob escape him. The sudden wave of emotion, previously pent up, from everything came out in a rush and he felt like he was breaking down.

Lost on foreign land, he began to realize how many people there were, yet he felt like he had nobody. Nobody stopped to help him as crowds rushed to the evacuation points, running from titans that slowly, but surely, crowded in on their food sources. 

Bertholdt felt hurried feet kick him, sometimes step on him, but it was not enough to seriously injure him. He’d feel sore and be bruised, but for the most part people were avoiding him like an obstacle.

His brain forced him to remember: all of this panic, all of this damage...it was because of him.

What had he done?

“Bertholdt?” a voice called and Bertholdt tried to raise his head to pick the source out of the crowd. Just behind the rush of moving people he could see a figure running towards the wave and trying to push itself in. “Bertholdt!”

“Reiner!” Bertholdt cried upon seeing the blonde. Reiner shoved past running people, nearly being pushed over himself, but he stood his ground and pushed through until he was beside the fallen boy.

“Come on, take my hand!” Reiner grunted, teeth clenched, as he tried to steady himself despite the countless people shoving past his shoulders to escape.

Bertholdt hurriedly reached up and grabbed Reiner’s hand. The blonde pulled him up, held his hand tightly and began running along with the crowd before breaking through and deviating to a different path down an alley.

“R-Reiner?” Bertholdt gasped out, beginning to lose his breath. Nonetheless, he kept up with his friend. “Where are we going?”

“Shortcut. They’re escorting people to the Trost District on boat. I want to get there before that crowd of people.”

“Have you seen...?”

“Annie? She’s already on one of the boats.”

Bertholdt let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He didn’t have time to be relieved for long when he nearly toppled over Reiner when the blonde skidded to an abrupt halt.

Both boys gasped when they came face to face with a titan. It was a rather tiny one, or at least relatively small in comparison to the average. It stood a few feet above the height of an average human adult, perhaps about 8 feet. Still, a titan was a titan, no matter how big or small. They both knew a tiny one could kill them just as easy as one that towered the buildings.

“Run on opposite sides of it!” Reiner shouted out, not giving either of the two time to think before he darted forward, racing past the titan’s right side, keeping close to the walls of the alleyway they were in. Following his lead, Bertholdt ran through the left side and they made it through, only confusing the titan and leaving it dazed, unsure of which direction to turn.

The two boys turned a corner and kept on running before stopping behind a dumpster, crouched behind it to cover themselves as they gasped for air.

“That was- That was close,” Reiner breathed out, hand clutching his chest as if he were holding his heart in place. “Such a small titan was just our luck, we won’t be- we won’t be so lucky if a big one comes around.”

Reiner cut himself off when Bertholdt suddenly heaved and threw up on the ground. “Woah, hey! Are you okay?”

Bertholdt wiped at his mouth desperately. “Just- Just nerves. Sorry...”

Reiner gave him a pitiful smile, clasping a hand on the taller boy’s shoulder. “Look at me, Bertl. I’ll be strong for both of us. You know how I am. I’m a weakling, aren’t I? If I can do it, you can too.”

Bertholdt looked at him for a brief moment before nodding. “I don’t think we planned out very well what to do after we infiltrated the wall... I didn’t realize there’d be so many titans.”

“Yeah? We’ll plan now,” Reiner spoke, his voice noticeably hurried. “We run towards the evacuation points. I get you on that boat. I break through Wall Maria, and I’ll meet you in Trost.”

“What?! No way! You’re coming with me!” Bertholdt exclaimed, eyes wide. “It’s too dangerous, Reiner! You’ve seen how many titans are out there!”

“I _have_ to break down Wall Maria. I don’t want to delay our mission any more than I already have!”

“But, you haven’t...”

“I don’t have another choice.”

“I wouldn’t care if you do it, if there weren’t so many titans around!” Bertholdt whined, hands coming up and cradling his head as he rocked back and forth. He clutched onto his short hair, his grip so tight it seemed like it would rip right off. “Can’t we change the plans? Please? We have years!”

There was a brief hesitancy on Reiner’s end, but his next words were spoken firmly. “No, Bertholdt. I have to do this.”

“But- I don’t want anything to happen to you! I- We- Marcel...”

Bertholdt didn’t think before he spoke, and as a consequence, that seemed to strike a chord wrongly in Reiner. The blonde whirled around to face him with clenched teeth, fists balled. Bertholdt flinched and curled in on himself, prepared to take a hit.

“I’m not fucking arguing about this with you!” Reiner shouted instead, holding himself back. The twelve year old boy had a tendency to curse, despite being so young, but even now the way the words slipped sounded like poison to Bertholdt. 

Reiner glared at him, but Bertholdt didn’t dare meet his eyes. Angered, the blonde went on. “I’m a _warrior_ , not a coward! I have a mission to complete and I’m going to do it, so don’t stand in my fucking way!”

Bertholdt didn’t respond, curled up tight in himself. Reiner made a sharp _tsk_ sound before he turned on his heels and started running. The taller boy jolted up at the sound of retreating footsteps, panicked.

“Reiner, w-wait!” Bertholdt cried out, scrambling to his feet, but before he could even run after him, the blonde had already disappeared around a corner.

Fighting back tears, Bertholdt ran in a different direction with the goal to regroup back with the evacuees on the main road. There was no stopping Reiner, so he knew he couldn’t go after him. He only prayed that something would keep the prideful boy safe.

Bertholdt slipped back in a crowd of people, and with much arguing between adult soldiers, he was finally put on one of the boats that had already been filled, being slipped onto it easily without much of a protest since he was a small child. 

Grief filled him. Reiner should be on the boat with him. He couldn’t help the strong emotions of grief that overwhelmed him, as if Reiner was dead. Bertholdt knew he wasn’t, but the idea of the blonde boy out there on his own made him feel sick to his stomach. Nauseated, he stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall of the boat and he slid down. He hugged his knees to his chest and silently begged it all to end so they could peacefully make it to Trost.

“Bertholdt?”

Bertholdt looked up at the source of a quiet voice and his green eyes met the cold, icy blue ones of Annie’s.

“A-Annie!” Bertholdt gasped out, standing up. He quickly pulled her into a hug, holding tight as if she’d melt out of his grip and vanish forever. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

Annie didn’t return the hug, but she allowed the boy to have his moment before she pulled away. “Of course I’m okay. The titans aren’t going to go after me, I commanded them,” she snorted, voice hushed so only he could hear. Something about her words seemed unsure, as if she didn’t necessarily know if they were true, but just wanted to be reassuring. “Where’s Reiner?”

“He- We...” Bertholdt sniffed. He lowered his voice, mumbling sadly above his breath. “We had an argument. I think I upset him and he ran off. He said he was going to go break Wall Maria, so...”

“Keep your voice down!” Annie hissed.

“Sorry,” Bertholdt mumbled, speaking quieter than before.

Annie sighed. “Arguing now, of all times?” 

“I didn’t mean for it to be like that. He just wasn’t listening to me.”

“You should know how he is.”

“Yeah...I guess. I just hope he’s-“

A sudden bolt of lighting and the sound of a blast sounded off in the distance. Annie and Bertholdt immediately knew what it was, their widened eyes searching for the source as they quickly gathered themselves up on their feet and raced to the boat’s railing.

Off in the distance a heavily armored titan lifted itself off the ground from where it’d been crouched, gaze fixed on the path ahead of it.

Looking closely, Bertholdt noticed the Armored Titan briefly look over in the direction of the boats, as if it were searching for something, but then it looked back straight. The black-haired boy resisted the urge to shout Reiner’s name.

Bertholdt watched the Armored Titan rear back, crouching in a position, before launching itself forward in a powerfully charged run. It’s arms were jutted out, placing the points with the strongest armor first, as it raced towards Wall Maria’s gate. It wasn’t long before it made contact with the gate and broke cleanly through it, as if it were made of the thinnest material known to man. The armored titan became unseeable from behind the wall, but Bertholdt could see steam, so he knew that Reiner must be breaking out at that very moment.

Bertholdt had his hands clasped over his mouth, his lips quivering. “He- He did it,” he squeaked, keeping his words neutral as to not rouse suspicion from potential listeners.

Bertholdt looked over at Annie, who’s face held a shocked expression of awe, before it slowly fell and was replaced with an emotion more guarded. “Come on, Bertholdt. Let’s go sit down.”

He heard her, but the words didn’t seem to click in his head as Bertholdt turned back to look in the direction of the steam, eyes wide. In an impulsive moment, hands gripping the railing with white knuckles, he lifted his foot and scraped it against the boards of the railing as he tried to lift himself up. Adrenaline was moving his body before the logic in his brain could even catch up.

“What the- Bertholdt!” Annie shouted, rushing forward and wrapping her arms around his abdomen, attempting to pull him back. Civilian onlookers gasped, backing away from the scene the two kids were pulling.

“Please-“ Bertholdt pleaded, trying to wrench himself out of Annie’s grip, but she was much stronger than him. “He’s going to get hurt, I-“

“What the fuck are you doing?” Annie ignored him, shouting over his voice and drowning out his words. 

“I have to- I have to go...find him...” Bertholdt tried, his voice growing weak with a struggle when Annie moved her arms upwards until they were locked around his neck, and in a swift movement she yanked him backwards and threw him to the ground. Bertholdt sputtered as he slammed onto the hard wooden floor of the deck, face first, the wind getting knocked from him. 

With a whine, Bertholdt lifted his head, and pushed his upper half of his body upright with his arms, moving until he was positioned on his hands and knees. His mouth hung open as he panted for breath, the only other sound between the two being a dripping noise as blood trickled out of his mouth and dropped on the deck. In the process of Annie forcibly moving Bertholdt away from the railing, he’d bitten down hard on his lip and busted it, and she had even managed to knock out his last baby tooth when he slammed to the ground.

“Bertholdt, look at me,” Annie begged quietly. When the boy lifted his gaze, blood running down his chin, he met her gaze. Annie’s eyes were wide and serious, her expression firm and grim at the same time. Annie offered him a hand. “He’ll be fine.”

With a sniffle, Bertholdt took her hand, wiping the blood from his lip and chin with his other one. His bottom lip hurt and the spot where the tooth got knocked out ached, and he was disgusted with the way blood came out of the hole, but he knew he’d have to hold back on his regenerative powers for the time being.

When Bertholdt grabbed ahold of Annie’s hand, she helped lift him off the ground then led him to a less crowded part of the ship. “We’re going to be moving soon,” she spoke gently. “Then we can go find him.”

Bertholdt stayed quiet, sinking down against the wall in their new spot. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine in his head what Reiner was doing right now, but his mind only raced with gory, grim thoughts that he just couldn’t seem to shake off. 

When Reiner broke down the wall, what if he ran into a titan on the way to Trost? What if he didn’t make it out of his titan on time and got caught? What if someone saw him come out of the titan and captured him?

All Bertholdt could think about was Reiner. Reiner’s bloodied body, Reiner’s empty, dead expression, Reiner’s limbless figure as he got torn apart by titans.

Before he knew it he was rocking back and forth and clenching his eyes shut, blocking out the terrified noises of civilians around him. He felt nauseated when he felt the boat start moving along in the water, but he willed himself not to throw up.

He tried to think of happy memories to keep him distracted. His seasickness made him think back to how much he’d hung over the edge of the boat on the way to Paradis from Marley. Marcel had rowed while Reiner had sat beside Bertholdt, rubbing his hand up and down his back as the nauseation had taken over him. 

He remembered the way Reiner would try to cut a joke to lighten the mood and make him feel better, only to laugh when it ended up making Bertholdt more sick. The taller boy would stare up at him from the edge of the boat with a glare while Reiner would try to hold back the laughter, but fail, until Bertholdt couldn’t help but laugh with him.

It was embarrassing, but he’d been grateful for the blonde’s comfort and attempts to make him feel better. However, the memory back to his seasickness didn’t help him in the moment, so he tried to think back to something else.

Instead of Bertholdt’s mind being flooded with gory thoughts, he tried to imagine him and Annie meeting up with Reiner again. He tried to imagine a town, similar looking to the one they’d infiltrated, with endless alleys and roads and big houses. In his imagination, him and Annie ran down the road, away from the crowd, and right into Reiner’s arms as the three hugged in their reunion.

Bertholdt knew his imagination was a little exaggerated, especially on Annie’s end, but he couldn’t help but childishly long for a normal childhood with his two best friends. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t care.

Slowly, Bertholdt lifted his head from where he’d had it tucked behind where he brought his knees up to his chest. He laid his chin on the top of his knees and idly scratched at the deck of the boat with a fingernail, peeling at the tiny strips of wood. He jumped, startled, when he felt a light prick as a piece of wood pierced his skin, but he easily pulled the splinter out without problem.

“We’re past the wall,” Annie mumbled, catching the boy’s attention. “Now that both walls are broken, they’re hurrying to get everyone to Trost. I don’t think they know what they’re going to do with all of us.”

Bertholdt listened silently, eyes wandering until he caught sight of the scenery of the land and territory, something so beautiful that now belonged to titans. Finally, he spoke softly, “But we’ll have each other, right?”

Something about Bertholdt’s sentence was grim, as if it held the implication they wouldn’t be seeing Reiner again. He could tell Annie was struggling in the silence, as if she debated correcting him, but even she knew they weren’t so sure if Reiner would make it to Trost on his own as a human. Bertholdt could only pray he’d either make it safely, or maybe he would shift back into his titan further down the land so he could get to Trost faster without being seen.

Annie breathed deeply before sighing, finally responding to Bertholdt’s question. “Yeah. We’ll stick together.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last flashback chapter for now, and the next chapter will go back to where chapter one left off.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Comments and feedback are appreciated!<3

The transportation of the refugees to the Trost District didn’t take long at all, it was just getting everyone off the boats and then deciding what to do with them. 

Crowds pushed past out of order. Understandably, everyone wanted to be back on land in a place where they knew they were safe. Everyone was still on edge, wondering if the two abnormal titans would come this far to break down more walls.

Bertholdt felt guilt, but he tried to ignore it. He had a mission and a father back at home. He tried not to think about the families that resided within the walls. Ignorance was bliss, after all.

But Bertholdt knew he just couldn’t think like that. It would forever weigh down on him.

At the very least, the civilians wouldn’t be seeing the titans again for quite some time, but it wasn’t like Bertholdt could reassure them that. He kept his mouth shut.

Annie was the first of the two to stand to her feet when they started escorting women and children off their boat. Bertholdt stood up immediately after her and hurried behind her, walking so close to her that he accidentally stepped on the heels of her shoes a few times, earning him a few hard glares from icy eyes. Every time, his misstep was immediately followed by whispered apologies.

“Bertholdt, back up!” Annie complained when he stepped on her shoe for the fifth time, but this time she nearly tripped, managing to catch herself on her feet before she could fall. When she stumbled, her foot slipped out of her shoe.

“Sorry! Sorry,” Bertholdt waved his hands in front of him, his expression sheepish.

Annie grumbled as she stepped forward, picking her shoe up and slipping it back on, then she looked up at Bertholdt when she was done. Her gaze softened slightly, though it was evident she was still irritated by him. Some of that seemed to come from a fond place, however.

“You don’t have to be so nervous, Bertl,” Annie said, her demeanor now calm. Deep inside, though, Bertholdt felt like she was just as nervous as he was, but she was very skilled at masking it.

“Right. Sorry.”

Annie sighed, “Let’s just keep moving.”

Soldiers were ushering children with their mothers to one side, while there were separate groups for freshly orphaned kids, or women who had lost their own kids in the tragedy. Hesitantly, the two slid inside the group of orphaned children, standing near the back.

Bertholdt was distraught at how young some of these children were. Soldiers were placed in front of their group, likely to keep together the youngest ones who were obviously traumatized, but deeply confused. They were old enough to understand something bad and scary happened, but young enough to not entirely grasp the depth of it.

After a while, soldiers ushered the groups off in different directions, to the designated refugee shelters. It seemed like they were putting families together in one, while the only survivors of other families were all put together in another shelter.

Bertholdt assumed the soldiers expected the women who lost kids to take care of the orphaned children, but looking at their faces, most of them held haunted, exhausted expressions.

Not being able to bare it anymore, Bertholdt looked away and kept his gaze focused down on his own feet.

When they got the current group into the shelter, medical assistants tended to those with more severe wounds. They couldn’t take it outside because Trost was already becoming crowded at the loading dock, so the shelter was filled with a lot of noise. Bertholdt hid the lower part of his face. The space he was in was too public to regenerate his busted lip, but he also didn’t want any medical attention, because he’d rather them save their supplies for others.

About once every hour, a new group of orphaned children and women would be brought into the shelter, coming from boats after theirs. They had started bringing men without families into the building as well. 

Every time a new group of children was brought in, Bertholdt would raise his head hopefully, then sadly lower it when he couldn’t spot Reiner among the group. After the first few failed chances, he stopped raising his head. With his knees hugged to his chest, he curled up tight on himself, his forehead resting against his knees. 

Bertholdt felt so tired, but he wasn’t sure if he could sleep here. He was hungry, too, but they’d just fed them. The only thing they’d gotten was just broken off pieces of bread. The food was nothing like what the warriors at Marley were fed, and especially nothing like what the actual Marleyans got.

Bertholdt grunted when he felt something light bounce off his head and hit the ground. He lifted his head slightly and looked down next to him. Next to his foot laid a tiny pebble. He flinched when it happened again and the next pebble bounced off his hair and landed on his other side. He sighed, curling in on himself again. He figured it was just a younger kid messing around to try and distract themselves, so he braced it and allowed it to happen. Bertholdt knew he’d be too timid to confront anyone, anyways.

He whined when it happened again but the hit felt slightly harder, his head shooting up to see a larger pebble on the ground. This time, Annie had been disturbed when a pebble hit her head as well, and she looked up from a book that she brought along with her in the warriors’ shared bag.

Bertholdt knew he didn’t have to do anything, as Annie would immediately confront the one messing with them, and already her blue eyes were scanning their surroundings. Bertholdt was glad, because if the rocks kept getting bigger, it was sure to start truly hurting soon.

The boy jumped when Annie suddenly slammed her book shut, got up, and stomped off. She disappeared amongst groups of people. He didn’t bother running after her, knowing she’d return when she caught whoever it was that’d been throwing pebbles at them.

Bertholdt perked up at the sound of a complaining voice from across the building, one that was faintly recognizable amongst the noise of other people talking. Soon enough, Annie was back in front of him, pulling along someone by the arm. She pushed them down in between her and Bertholdt and they landed on their face. Bertholdt quickly backed up, eyes wide.

“Damn, you shit!” the newcomer winced.

Bertholdt immediately recognized that voice and the head of short, messy blonde hair. “Reiner?!”

“You’re lucky you’re not a stranger,” Annie stood above Reiner. “Or else you’d have a broken arm right now.”

Reiner grumbled, pushing himself up until he was sitting on his knees, brushing off dust and dirt from his clothes and face. “Jeez, I was just messing around.” 

“Reiner! You’re okay!” Bertholdt crawled forward, his eyes filled with joy. They were wet from tears that formed and spilled out almost immediately.

Reiner looked up, eyes wide with surprise as he obviously didn’t expect Bertholdt to be in his face. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he smirked, but something about his expression spoke numbers. He’d been terrified.

“I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried you wouldn’t be able to...”

“I said I could do my mission,” Reiner cut him off, voice short and irritated. Bertholdt nodded apologetically, looking away from him and down at his own knees. Annie joined the two of them, sitting down and crossing her legs.

“Be quiet,” Annie reminded them, a glare pointed at Reiner.

Reiner sighed. “Sorry, Bertl. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that everything is wild out there.” 

“Trost is getting crowded,” Annie stated plainly as a continuation of Reiner’s sentence.

“No fucking kidding! I didn’t even notice, Annie.” Reiner’s retort earned a punch on the arm from the girl and he laughed in response.

“You seem happy,” Bertholdt mumbled, looking at Reiner from where he rested his chin on his crossed arms, which rested on his knees. 

Reiner looked over at him, his expression turning blank. He seemed to be studying the taller boy in front of him before he finally asked, “What happened to your face?”

“He decided to be suicidal and try to jump off the boat,” Annie responded for him.

When Reiner gave him a look of concern, Bertholdt quickly spoke up, though he stumbled over his own words. “H-Huh? No! No, it wasn’t like that! Uh-“

Annie snorted, covering a laugh with her hand. Bertholdt whimpered embarrassedly, “Guys, stop playing around... Annie pushed me and I fell, that’s all.”

Reiner gave Annie a look. “Why’d you push him?”

“I already told you! He was trying to jump off the boat!”

“Please,” Bertholdt spoke over them. Reiner had visibly tensed and Annie was staring him down like he were prey. Bertholdt didn’t want them to start fighting again. “I was acting recklessly, Annie helped me. I... I wasn’t thinking, I tried to get off the boat to go save you.”

As Bertholdt spoke, Reiner met his eyes and he softened with a sigh. “I was okay, Bertl. I didn’t need saving,” he reminded him gently. “I knew I could do it, and I did.”

Before Bertholdt got the chance to respond, Reiner was standing up and stretching. “Come on, let’s get some fresh air. It’s cramped in here.”

“A-Are we even allowed to go outside?” Bertholdt fretted, but regardless, he stood up and followed closely behind Reiner. Annie joined them, slipping their bag back around her shoulder.

“Why not? We’re Trost residents now, aren’t we?” Reiner opened the door for them and held it open until all three of them were outside. He held a hand out to Annie, pointing at the bag she was carrying. “Want me to take that for you?”

“No. I’ve got it,” Annie met his gaze coldly. Reiner rolled his eyes fondly in response and quickly stepped ahead of the other two to lead them.

“I’m hungry. How about you two?”

“Yes, but, um. We’ve already had our rations, so...” Bertholdt trailed off awkwardly.

Reiner blinked at him. “So? We can just steal more.”

Bertholdt was unsure, but he didn’t say much else about it. He just fretted that as a fault of their actions, someone may end up going hungry tonight. 

“Come on. I saw where the soldiers were getting the food from. Follow me!” Reiner darted off down an alleyway, leaving Bertholdt and Annie to follow him. Bertholdt offered his hand to Annie, a silent reminder of their promise to stick together, but she rejected it as she slipped past him to hurry over to where Reiner had stopped just ahead. With a sigh, the taller boy sped up until he’d joined them.

Bertholdt felt slightly out of breath, but that was mostly because of the anxiety coursing through him. He was scared of getting caught. Looking at Reiner, he tried to mask himself and calm down. The blonde boy didn’t seem scared at all.

“This is the backdoor,” Reiner placed his hand on the door in front of him. “I think it goes to some kind of storage room.” He reached up and placed his hand on the knob and pulled downwards slowly, testing the lock. When the knob turned easily, he steadily pulled the door open, careful to not make any noise. Bertholdt held his breath every time the door would make a tiny creak, but somehow, it never brought attention to them. Before he knew it, they had full access to the room up ahead.

“Come on,” Reiner whispered, holding the door open. The other two slipped inside, wide eyes carefully studying their surroundings. The door quietly clicked behind them as Reiner stepped in and gently pulled it shut.

The room was dimly lit with boxes of rations everywhere. There was a table with chairs pulled out along it, signifying that someone, likely soldiers, had been here to sit down. 

Once the three kids were sure absolutely nobody was coming in, Reiner darted forward and slid on his knees next to a box. “Bread!” he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with excitement. All three of them knew that bread wasn’t a lot, but when someone was hungry with very little options, anything seemed pleasing. “Lots of it, too! Whole loaves!”

Bertholdt and Annie ran forward, watching as Reiner ripped apart the loaf and shared the pieces he’d taken. “It’s stale,” the blonde boy confirmed, his mouth full. “But look at how much we have here!”

Trying to push away his guilt, Bertholdt took a bite out of the bread and chewed. Reiner was right; it was very stale and dry. Somehow, the rations he’d been given earlier in the shelter had tasted fresher than this.

“You think they have any meat in here?” Reiner swallowed, standing up on his feet and dusting off his knees. 

“I doubt it. It’s probably saved for the higher ups,” Annie was the one who answered him.

“Well, we’ll never know unless we look, right?” Reiner walked over to the next box, crouching down and tearing it open. “Hey, come look. There are sacks in here. You think this is where the meat is?”

Interest caught, Bertholdt and Annie walked forward. Carefully, the black-haired boy reached a hand forward and poked the sack. It felt hard and lumpy inside. “I don’t think so. Open it?”

Reiner grabbed the tail end of the opening and ripped the bag open, poking his head inside. “Potatoes!” he exclaimed, straightening up and looking at them with a toothy grin.

Bertholdt reached in and grabbed one, twisting it in his hand. “They’re raw...” he complained.

“My mama would roast potatoes for me a lot,” Reiner spoke as he grabbed one, his eyes glassy with joyful thoughts. “You’ve eaten them before, haven’t you two?”

Bertholdt thought back. Back in Marley, Bertholdt and Annie tended to visit Reiner a lot. He had a big family that lived with him, while the other two only had their fathers. Bertholdt would remember the way Reiner’s mother would coddle him and he’d stare up at her with a smile as she would fix extra food for him to take home to his father, and she’d do the same for Annie and her father.

In the internment zone, they were not given as much food as the actual Marleyans, and certainly not very much good things either, but somehow, Reiner’s mother always found ways to make do with what they had. 

“Yes, I remember,” Bertholdt answered finally, and Annie nodded beside him.

“You think we can figure out a way to roast these? Maybe steam them?” Reiner wondered aloud, grasping a potato and looking at it. “Or maybe we can eat it raw?”

“Um, I wouldn’t-“ Bertholdt tried, but before he could get his words in, Reiner had already taken a bite out of the potato. A crisp sound filled the silence in the air, almost like biting into an apple.

There was silence before Reiner finally gagged and spit it out on the ground, continuously hacking up saliva as he tried to rid the taste from his mouth. Beside Bertholdt, Annie snorted with laughter at his display.

“It tastes like dirt!” Reiner complained, his tongue poking out of his mouth. Bertholdt brought a hand up to his mouth as he tried to cover his own giggles.

“I don’t think they’ve been washed yet,” Annie commented, grabbing a potato and picking at it. The one she held still had clumps of soil gathered on the surface, as well as roots poking out of it. Reiner looked at her pick with wide eyes and the sight made him gag again. Embarrassed, he spit on the ground, trying to play off his mistake. 

His pale cheeks were dusted with red as he threw the bitten potato at Annie. “Whatever. You can’t say you wouldn’t make the same mistake.”

Annie easily caught the item that was thrown at her. “I wouldn’t.” She threw it to the ground, watching it roll away. Leaning over, she elbowed Bertholdt in the side. “Reiner just ate bugs and dirt.”

Reiner’s blush worsened when his gaze shot towards her. “I did not!” he whined childishly as he glared at her. Bertholdt couldn’t control his giggle, which earned him a glare as well.

“Alright, you two want to play?” Reiner spoke under his breath, grabbing one of the potatoes out of the sack and standing to his feet. Bertholdt looked at him with a quizzical tilted head as Reiner steadily approached him. Before he knew it, the blonde was tackling him to the ground and pinning him down, holding the potato tauntingly above his head.

“Reiner!” Bertholdt shrieked with laughter, trying to control himself but Reiner kept prodding his sides and making him laugh. The raw potato he held was closing in on his open mouth and he desperately moved his head around to avoid it. Suddenly, the weight on him had been lifted and he strained his neck to look in front of him.

Annie had climbed on Reiner’s back, wrapped her arms around his neck and threw herself backwards, moving Reiner with her. She had a smirk on her face as the boy struggled in her headlock, his arms thrashing wildly. With a laugh, Bertholdt sat up and watched them.

The two were acting like normal, happy children, and he enjoyed that. He felt like a normal child as well.

Annie didn’t expect it when Reiner suddenly twisted in her hold until he was facing her, and now he was holding her down with her back pressed to the ground. He laughed successfully when he took her by surprise and got the food item in her mouth, only to shriek when she bit off a piece and spit it out at him. 

“Gross, Annie!” Reiner fell backwards, scrambling on his feet away from her and staring at her with a playful glare.

Annie sat up, brushing dust off her clothes. She met Reiner’s eyes challengingly. “Alright, you’ve had your fun.”

“Not yet. Bertholdt still hadn’t tasted it yet.”

“Huh?” Bertholdt’s eyes widened when Reiner suddenly closed in on him again and he was back on the floor with the raw food pressed to his lips. He clenched his mouth shut tightly, knowing he’d get sick if he even tasted it because of his weak stomach. He let out a loud wince when the potato pushed wrongly against his busted lip and he yelped.

“B-Bertl?” Reiner moved back, surprised. “Are you okay?”

Bertholdt sat up, rubbing his mouth. The scabbed over wound had opened up and blood trickled out from the bust. It burned now that some dirt had made its way into the newly opened wound.

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry, Bertholdt, I- I had forgotten,” Reiner looked at him with sad eyes, the potato forgotten at his side. He scooted forward on his knees, one hand cupping the bottom of Bertholdt’s chin. As he inspected the bust, he spoke, “You have time to regenerate now. Nobody is around. You should before it gets infected.”

Annie had walked forward and sat beside them, her eyes pointed towards the front door as if she expected anyone to walk in at any minute.

“Y-Yeah,” Bertholdt whimpered, the soreness making it hurt to talk. He concentrated until steam lightly came out of the wound on his lip, floating upwards and tickling his nostrils, making him sneeze. In just a few minutes, his lip had mended and closed up and the bruises had left, leaving no evidence behind.

“Look, Reiner,” Bertholdt pulled on his upper lip with his finger, baring his teeth. One of his top front teeth was missing. “My last baby tooth fell out.”

Reiner’s eyes widened. “Awesome! My last one fell out a few months ago. I used my regeneration and my new one grew instantly!”

“I’m going to wait mine out,” Bertholdt shook his head, a small smile on his face. “That’s how it is for normal kids, right?”

There was a grim silence between them before Reiner scooted forward closer, wrapping his arms around Bertholdt’s body. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Bertl.”

“N-No, it’s okay. You didn’t mean it.” Bertholdt spoke quietly, his voice shy and awkward.

“Not just now,” Reiner mumbled. “I’m also talking about when I went to break down the wall.”

“Oh...” Bertholdt remembered the argument they had when Reiner had ran off in an impulsive rage. 

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“I should have trusted you more.”

Reiner looked at him sadly. “And what if I’d been wrong? That fight would have been the last thing we’d said to each other. You had a right.”

“Don’t,” Bertholdt whispered. “Don’t blame yourself...”

Before they could say much else, Annie shifted beside them, alarmed, her gaze perked towards the front door. Suddenly, it opened up and soldiers were walking in.

“What is with this mess?” one of them complained, kicking a piece of bread that was on the floor. “Someone should report whoever was in here last.”

“Mmh, it’s not worth our time,” a second soldier shrugged. “They did leave the boxes open, though. This food is going to go bad, and-“

Silence fell across the newcomers when they made eye contact with the three kids in the room who were already scrambling to their feet, alarmed.

“Hey, you brats!” the first soldier was the one who spoke first, waving a fist. “You’re not allowed in here!”

Annie was the first one to run, darting for the back door and swinging it open as Reiner and Bertholdt chased behind her. The three fled down the alleyway they came from, making turns around several corners to guarantee they lost the soldiers. Bertholdt almost tripped several times in his escape, but he ran along a lot easier when Reiner grasped his hand and pulled him along.

The three stopped when they no longer heard the sound of pursuing footsteps and they stood against the wall, trying to catch their breath. Reiner was the first one to laugh aloud, thrilled by the adrenaline of their chase.

“That was close,” he breathed, a smile on his face. “Those lazy bastards...they didn’t stand a chance!”

“I’m sure they’re working hard,” Bertholdt mumbled, feeling slightly guilty. Despite his guilt, his stomach no longer rumbled as he had filled the rest of that emptiness on stolen bread, leaving him feeling satisfied for once.

“If you call sitting around and drinking working hard, sure,” Reiner shrugged. “I’m gonna be a soldier one day, and make a difference.”

Bertholdt blinked at him. “A soldier? But what about our-“

“Becoming a soldier would help our mission, wouldn’t it?” Reiner defended himself with a pointed glance, cutting Bertholdt’s words off. 

“...I guess so,” he mumbled, looking at Annie with a confused expression, but she didn’t return his gaze. Her icy eyes stared at Reiner, as if she were studying him.

Reiner looked at both of them before he turned on his heels and started walking. “Come on, we got years to figure it out anyways. Let’s get back to the shelter.”

Hesitantly, Bertholdt followed along, rubbing at his arms anxiously. For once, ever since arriving on the island, he suddenly felt unsure about their future, but he ultimately decided to push away the thoughts and follow in what his best friends thought was best.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember that one scene where Armin is talking to Eren while he’s in the titan and Eren is hallucinating imagery that he’s younger in his childhood home? That’s kind of what I based the first section of chapter one of this story off of.
> 
> Comments and feedback are appreciated!


End file.
